Finalizing the Draft
Comment 1:
You suggested two different policies, however you should try to make it more detailed and explain more how you would do it and in which ways it will affect everyone who is involved. Also include how your organization will participate, in what ways and how you think the result would be.
Try to make your executive summary shorter because it takes a lot of space and should be as concised as possible.
Moreover, another area of improvement is can be the application of the spiral model, you should be more detailed on it include examples.
Be sure to double check your sources and the format of them.
Comment 2:
In your “executive summary” section, I think it would be a good idea to clearly state the organization that you are representing and as well who the policy paper is for/ directed towards (i.e. president, government, etc.)
In your “origin/history of the problem” section, there are some sentences that in my opinion are a bit short, so I think that it would be best if you combine some sentences together. In your “critique of policy options” section, I am not sure if this was intended or not but some of the paragraphs I felt were too short. I think combining some of the paragraphs or adding a bit more to the ones that only have a couple of sentences would be a smart move.
There are minor spelling and grammar issues that can also be easily fixed.
I have attached a sample policy paper and wish you could format the paper like how the sample is. Also, to please finalize the paper accordingly from the above comments.
